How to Get a Scared Dog to Trust You: Step-by-Step Guide

How to Get a Scared Dog to Trust You: Step-by-Step Guide

Dogs
Miles AshcombeMiles Ashcombe
28 Feb 2025
5 min

Trust between the owner and their dog is integral to their bond. It helps your pet feel safe around you, remaining calm, playful, and healthy. The atmosphere of friendship and trust affects the dog's physical and mental health. Unfortunately, your pet can get traumatized in many situations and cases. This could be a new dog from a shelter or your pet with whom you have gone through an unpleasant situation. How to deal with their fear, and how to get a scared dog to trust you? Our article will help you to win your four-legged friend back!

Why Are Dogs Scared? Understanding Common Causes of Fear

How does the fear work from the scientific perspective? These reactions are caused by three hormones: adrenaline, cortisol, and norepinephrine. In some situations, fear can become chronic due to high cortisol levels. This leads to digestive problems, sleep disturbances, and weight loss. But what can typically trigger dogs’ bodies to behave that way? Let’s take a closer look at some common causes:

  • Trauma or negative experience. Humans can relate to this issue since it works similarly in our lives. Stressful events can leave a painful mark on our mental health: abuse, life-threatening events, or situations filled with aggression. As for dogs, they can also get scared of other pets’ aggression, loud noises, or other people approaching. 
  • Abandonment issues. This is a common problem in adopted dogs who had negative experiences with the previous owner. On the other hand, it can be a sign that your pet is too attached to you and is anxious about your leaving. 
  • Age and hormonal changes. Deteriorating vision, decreased brain activity, and hormonal fluctuations are messing up your pet’s cognitive abilities, making it harder to distinguish between real causes of danger and unreasonable triggers.
  • Pain or illness. Stress and irritant sensitivity increase in proportion to the severity of pain or disease. Scientists highlight joint pain, heart disease, and hearing or vision problems as the most common causes of stress, fear, and anxiety. Dogs become cautious and fearful when they are in pain, and some actions can even cause physical aggression toward their owners.
  • Genetic predisposition. Modern breeds are artificially bred for specific purposes. As a result, dogs like border collies or shepherds are more sensitive to noise and tend to monitor people's moods, leading to increased anxiety, poor sleep, and fear.

The body and mind's reaction to fear is the result of evolution. Our nervous system mobilizes resources, forcing us to avoid danger or think through a survival strategy. A dog's mind can make mistakes like our generation, whose body cannot distinguish between running away from a tiger and a video call with the boss.

How to Approach a Scared Dog Safely and Calmly

Let’s imagine the situation: your dog was triggered at home by loud noises. You are lucky if this event triggered in them a desire to hide or seek support from you, and not aggression or destructive behavior. And now, your dog is scared, shaking, and whining. What steps should be taken, and how to get a scared cat to trust you? So, listen up:

  • Assess the situation. What triggered this stroke? Something that you did, the noise, the smell, or was it random? Then, evaluate the dog's condition and reaction: freezing, tail tucked, trembling, attempting to escape, or aggression. This will help you understand how to proceed.
  • Talk to your dog quietly. For the first few minutes, your pet may try to isolate themselves from you in a fit of anxiety. How to make a scared dog comfortable? Don't put pressure on them, but try to calm them down from afar. Pets respond positively to their owners' voices. For them, this is a guide to calmness.
  • Try to come up and pet them. Physical affection will be a great distraction from the subject of stress. Stay close, let the dog smell you, and understand that the fear is over for them.
  • Take them to a safe place. If you two were outside, just go back home. If you were already there, let the dog hide in their comfort place. 
  • Distress your pet if the trigger is small (a loud noise or an unfamiliar dog barking). A favorite toy that makes noise or a treat will work great. You can also give your dog a simple command to bring their attention back to you.

Many dog fears are recurring. That is, if something triggered your dog once, it can throw them off-kilter again. Address the cause of the fear to avoid repeating anxiety and stress attacks.

How to Make a Scared Dog Feel Comfortable

Even when the primary reaction is over, your dog needs extra time to get back to normal. You can help them with this through physical exercise. Fear is about emotions that are felt throughout the body. Follow with a light massage of the paws and body, and gently stroke the pet on the sides. The technique of quiet presence will also help a lot: just sit next to your pet, letting the dog know that you are always ready to protect and help.

Often, owners increase the dog's fear with their reaction. If your responses reinforce their understanding that the trigger is terrifying, the problem can intensify. Let the animal calm down on its own and understand that there is nothing to be scared of.

Building Trust: How to Get a Scared Dog to Come to You

Research shows that dogs usually seek help from their owners in stressful situations. However, it is still normal for a pet to isolate themselves from irritants and hide in the house. Watch your pet's reaction while you are trying to reduce the distance, and avoid making eye contact because dogs perceive this as pressure.

Attract your pet's attention with treats and toys. Speak in a calm voice. And most importantly, do not push. If the dog needs privacy, try to leave them alone. If the situation requires your physical influence (picking up the dog or carrying it somewhere), comfort your pet later.

How to Comfort a Scared Dog Without Overwhelming Them

There’s a fine line between calming down your dog and pushing them to calm down. Imagine yourself in any kind of a stress situation: you’ll need a minute to understand what just happened and to wrap it around your head. Same with the dogs: give them some time before approaching. 

Avoid loud intonations, commanding tones, and shouting. If you are in a noisy place, find a quieter corner to calm your pet. Also, try not to show that you are scared, even if you are.

Helping a Scared Puppy Learn to Trust You

Some fears become pathological: unfortunately, if the traumatic event is associated with you, the dog will lose trust in you. This often happens, but do not think that it is irreparable.

Associate yourself with something good. How to make a scared dog like you? At first, you will not be able to be a “bad cop”; just play their favorite games and give treats. Try to behave predictably, calmly, and cheerfully. The dog must remember that you are its beloved and loyal friend and that you are still as trustworthy as before.

One of the popular methods of working with trust and restoring the connection is called a “ritual of trust.” Its essence is to create a daily habit, for example, a game or a treat. Do it regularly, at the same time, and in the same environment, and you’ll find out how to make your dog not scared of you. This effective technique will help reduce the time for restoring trust.

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FAQ

How can I get a scared dog to trust me?

It depends on your previous interactions and the bond you have. However, you’ll need to be calm, cheerful, and patient in both situations. Start by just being there for the pet and talking to it in a quiet voice. Then, try to stroke it gently, play with it, or give it a treat. Monitor their reaction to understand how to act and what to do next. If the pet is still ignorant and stressed, consider leaving it alone for a short time.

What should I avoid doing around a scared dog?

It is important for a frightened dog to have the atmosphere return to normal as quickly as possible. How to get a dog to not be scared of you? Start with peace and quiet around. Perhaps take your pet to a quiet place. Avoid shouting, sudden movements, and commanding tone.

How do I make a scared dog feel safe in a new environment?

First, just be there for your friend. Hold them in place before stepping into the new territory. Then, speak with a calm voice and let them explore the new place at their own pace. Your dog is an independent creature, and they need to know how to accumulate in a new setting. 

Why won’t a scared dog come to me, and how do I fix it?

In general, there are two reasons for understanding how to get a scared dog to come to you. The first is that they need time alone to process their emotions. The second is that you are one of the reasons for the fear. In any case, watch your pet from a short distance; do not stop talking. You can also try to give a treat or suggest a joint game.

How long does it take for a fearful dog to build trust? 

It depends on the factor that caused that fear and the dog’s personality. In general, they process small triggers or everyday stressful situations in a couple of hours. However, if your dog is easy to scare naturally, some experiences take days and weeks to heal. 

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